5 Sad Ways Gay AND Straight Men BOTH Struggle With Their Manhood


Are you with me, brother?

Perhaps the sexual orientation we choose is different, but in general, men are more alike than not. So, let’s do some good together!

Since the dawn of my coming out, I’ve been struggling; fighting to come to terms with my gay self, my “man’s man” masculinity, and my heterosexual detour of 38 years.

I always felt uncomfortable in the confines of my heterosexual skin. Of course, that’s because it wasn’t my true self, leaving me to feel like I was squeezing a too small jock strap on my hairy XL butt!

I didn’t realize a great majority of the gross discomfort eating me alive was actually deeply rooted in my traditional masculine energy and male DNA (not my sexual orientation)! It took me being out of the closet, and about 40 years of living, to truly grow into my big boy boxers comfortably.

Once I figured this out for myself I wondered if other men — gay, straight, or otherwise — also feel that we’re so much more alike (than we care to initially notice) than different. It turns out men ALL struggle with some of the same things in our culture:

  1. The pressure to be a “man’s man” is tough!

The sense of hyper-masculinity that often divides the gays from the straights isn’t just a fear of gay guys. Many “normal” males experience less than masculine moments and don’t know what to do with them. Solution? Define masculinity in your own way — live it, be it, breathe it! Define being a man for yourself, not for the comfort of others.

  1. Feeling inferior in the bedroom is a cross we all bear

Even if you’re “Johnny Porn Star” on the spot and can climax on cue, at some point in your life, you’ve wondered if your penis measures up and will perform to the task at hand. Guess what? Gay or straight, all men experience performance anxiety and inferiority complexes about our “Mr. Happy’s.” Yes! Even you “Mr. 6 x 9!” Get over it and admit — our penis is simply an appendage that, just like our arms, fingers, toes, and legs, sometimes works at peak performance and other times — well — not so much. In those moments when it doesn’t come through for you (or for your partner), remember it isn’t a sign of being less of a man.

  1. We crave permission to show our “feminine side” more

I’m not advocating cross dressing here. (However, if that’s your thing and you feel man enough to do it, then go for it.) What I AM encouraging is letting your softer side show. It isn’t going to make you a bleeding liberal or light in the pants. Inviting our “feminine” forward is like exploring a new IPA or fine Pinot Noir. Heck, if you want to explore as if you’re at a Tequila tasting bar, go for it. The point is, when you explore your feminine side you’re simply saying, “Damn, it feels good to take that armor off and slip into something a little more comfortable!” Plus, your gal or guy will probably find it kind of sexy to see the softer side of their man.

  1. Bromance isn’t a sexual thing, but it is a REAL thing

From the days of our forefathers, there’s been a vibe of “Check him out” among men that’s never been spoken. It’s there, but rarely uttered because that’s significantly way too much information for most men’s ears to absorb. Then one day, some linguist coined the term “Metrosexual” and before you new it, Bromance was slipping off tongues of “Captains of Industry” and gym rats across the globe. Suddenly it was cool (or, hip?) to have your BROOOO … mance with the man of your masculine dreams (David Beckham, we’re looking at you!)… no sex required.

I say all this to explain, admiration between men is just that … admirable and it’s a significant piece of building a positive world to live in. So go ahead, give that Bro a wink, a high-five, and throw in a tush pat for good luck!

  1. We need to cry once in awhile

Screw the days of “never see a grown man cry,” and cut loose with the water works. Joy, pain, giddiness (no it’s not just for women … it’s for HUMANS), and frustration are all means for establishing a “Men’s Crying Group Meet-up.” Tears release stress and negativity and allow positivity to step back into place. And, if you feel one trickling down your cheek watching Frozen, just suck it up and let ’em rip. There’s nothing more sexy to your woman (or man) or empowering to your kids than allowing them to see the main man in their life being a hu-man who is allowed to feel vulnerable once in awhile.

Now, about that “differentness” that divides us gay and straight men — sexual orientation. How about we all just wear our own as a badge of honor? It’s our differentness that sets us apart and systematically keeps guys from living together who shouldn’t cohabitate, and prevents women from gnashing their teeth, ending up with the less manly men to try to fix it. Of course, for some women, they’d appreciate having their own 24/7 shopping mate, interior designer, and coffee chat girlfriend who really gets their issues with men! But, that’s what B.G.F (Best Gay Friends) are for; actually, it wouldn’t hurt you straight guys to have a B.G.F to help you impress your gal, and conversely it wouldn’t be too tragic for gay guys to have a B.S.F (Best Straight Friend) for doing the manual labor stuff that “gay men just don’t know how to do!”

The moment we start embracing our sameness as men AND digging our differentness, the sooner we unite in oneness to make the planet a better place to live. Are you with me, brother?

This article originally published at YourTango.com 

Discover The Truth Of Confidence.

Thought…Confidence is hard to come by.

New Thought…Confidence comes from living your truth!

That’s all!

Wrong. That’s not all and it’s not that easy, or is it?

One of the things I discovered as I went through the coming out process is that the more I lived my truth, the less stressed I felt and the more confident I became. Sure, there was still stress, but the stress came, not because I was hiding, lying, shaming, and guilting. Stress came because life was in transition.

So what was the one of the keys to de-stressing and pumping up the confidence factor?

Living My Truth!

The more I stepped into my truths, the truths of who I was, the more I discovered the deeper truths of who I really was and the more confident I became. Oh, and surprise, surprise, surprise…the discoveries weren’t’ just about my sexual orientation.

  • I discovered I had belief systems that were mine and mine to own
  • I discovered that speaking my truth was empowering
  • I discovered that not everyone would leave me when I lived my truth
  • I discovered truth is much more powerful than fiction
  • I discovered the Rick that was the true Rick was so much more confident than the false Rick

Simultaneously, the more I lived my truth, the more risks I took. The more risks I took the more confident I became. The more confident I became the more adventures, fun, laughter, joy and happiness I experienced. And, with more truths, risks, and confidence, I also failed more so I could grow, which in turn pumped up the volume on my confidence.

So the moral of this quick little email?

Truth leads to confidence.

Now who doesn’t want more of that…right?

10 Brave Ways To Get Better At Being Your True Self 100% Of The Time


It’s time to let the world see you shine.

Congratulations … today is a new day. If you let them, all of your “should haves”, “could haves”, and “would haves” of yesterday have gone up in a poof of “It’s history!” smoke. All that remains is right now. You know, that “present moment” stuff that Oprah, Deepak, and Eckhart keep encouraging us to pay attention to in order to become more successful, alive, and fulfilled.

However, many of us turn a deaf ear on all of that “stay present in the moment” chatter, but then wonder… Why, why, why can’t I just be myself like everyone else?

The problem is that we resist. We resist doing the work, making the moves, and taking the chances required to become ourselves.

Well, my friends, it’s time to stop resisting.

Otherwise, before you know it, another day, week, month, heck even a lifetime will pass and there you’ll be: Still crying the blues, stomping your feet, throwing a tantrum — internal and external — pouting about why you’re not being yourself. The real you. And who’s to blame? You, and only you.

As much as we’d love to shift the blame, deflect, pull a “talk to the hand” move on ourselves, the only person accountable for your lack of authenticity and confidence is the one in the mirror. You know, the one you’re constantly having crazy-making internal conversations with everyday.

On the one hand, you yearn to become more confident, unique, and hungry to live a fulfilled life. Yet on the other hand, your inner Doubting Thomas throws road blocks in your path to becoming yourself. Quite the conundrum, isn’t it?

But, isn’t that slight of hand getting old? Of course it is, and it’s time for you to make a change. A change that creates a Tsunami of positive change in your life in the year ahead.

Here to support and guide you are the 10 smart ways to start being true to yourself each and every day, in every way!

  1. Stop being determined to fail

Even the slightest negative thought tells the universe that you’re not serious about being yourself. Change the thought and you change the outcome.

  1. Trust that you’ll figure it out

When presented with opportunities that you know nothing about or have no skills doing, simply trust that you’ll figure it out. You’ll figure out being you and only you, as only you can do.

  1. Embrace uncertainty, vulnerability, and let go of the outcome

Fighting uncertainty and shying away from vulnerability only makes discovering who you really are elusive. Why fight it? Just go with it. Then and only then can you let go of a “need to know” outcome.

  1. Stay curious

Live with child-like wonder about who you really are and what you’re meant to do in the world. Ask yourself daily: “Who am I?” The more you ask, the more answers you’ll uncover.

  1. Believe that change is possible

Rather than surrendering to “I am what I am and that’s all that I am,” embrace change. It’s the one thing that’s constant. It’s also the driving force to get you back to the real you. Instead of being the person that other people expect, be the person you’re meant to become for yourself and see what happens.

  1. Quit striving for acceptance

Listen to what your Momma told ya: “Not everyone’s gonna like ya, love ya, and accept ya! Why? Because it’s the universe’s way of teaching ya to like, love and accept yourself first.”

If your Momma didn’t say that, she should have!

  1. Be comfortable in the discomfort

Allow the moment you feel uncomfortable about taking a stand to become a habit of being comfortable in the discomfort. The stronger the habit, the sooner you’ll become comfortable in the discomfort of being yourself and voila — you’re being yourself!

  1. Practice, practice, practice failing

Not only must you stop being determined that you’re going to fail at being yourself, you must also practice failing to become yourself. Each time you fail at being yourself draws you one step closer to discovering the real you, instead of the false you that you’re trying to be.

  1. Find mentors but don’t copy cat

Finding you sometimes means seeing yourself in others. That’s awesome, cool, and oh so fab, provided you let them mentor you, not turn you into an exact replica of them. Grab a glimpse of yourself in them and then go become a better, more individual you!

  1. Believe beyond a shadow of a doubt

Whether it’s Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or Tinkerbell, at some point in time, you believed beyond a shadow of a doubt in something. You couldn’t quite grasp or didn’t know if it was really real, but you believed.

Now it’s time to do the same in order to be yourself. Trust and have faith beyond a shadow of a doubt that you being you is possible, and it will pay huge dividends in your life.

Does being you take work?

Yes, but it doesn’t have to be a mountain that you make out of a molehill. As what you focus on expands, set the intention to become more yourself this year.

Keep that intention and these recommendations clearly in focus and see how the real you expands to become what you want.

This article originally published at YourTango.com 

Believe Me…Self-Doubt Is All BS!

I don’t believe in self-doubt.

Wait, that’s not true. I used to believe in self-doubt.

Then I went to a conference where they had some Kool-aid that I drank, and it washed all the self-doubt away.

Yep, it was that simple! Well not quite.

First, I didn’t go to some walk on hot coals, hold a rattlesnake in your hands, eat live mice, and stare into a crystal ball type experience, to rid myself of self-doubt. I found a much easier, yet more challenging way to kick the self-doubting to the curb on trash day.

I quit buying into others doubts about me and what I was and wasn’t capable of or supposed to be doing.

I closed the checkbook, credit cards, and second guessing accounts so that I could clearly see my own confidence was masked by the doubts of others I’d been buying into for years.

That’s it!

Of course every so often, others doubts try to take me for a ride, but now I just say, “Sorry I’m catching an Uber ride to self-confidence instead!”

Bye-bye self-doubts, hello beautiful self-confidence.


10 Ways To Have Killer Confidence Every Single Day


Overcoming insecurity is easier than you think.

Imagine yourself sitting in a team meeting. A rally cry for the latest, innovative, revenue-generating idea rings throughout the room, and a frenzy erupts as your co-workers froth at the mouth like rabid dogs, vying for position as the next Wonder Kid on the corporate ladder.

And there you sit, frozen and wringing your hands, eyes slightly cast down, knots in your stomach as the ping-pong of thoughts ravages your gray matter.

“Do I say something? … No, keep your mouth shut. But I’ve got something to say … No you don’t, they never like your ideas.”

And poof. Once again, your lack of confidence kills the chance of you ever becoming more than a worker bee. Like so many times before, you watch your shot at being Queen Bee go up in a puff of smoke.

Sound familiar? If this isn’t happening at work, perhaps it plays out in your relationships, or even with your own self-care.

The mere act of being human invites attacks on our confidence every single day. And what happens when you lack authentic confidence? You feel unfulfilled, you lack a deep intimate relationship, and you struggle in a job that’s sucking the life out of you — shall we go on?

No need to answer that question. Instead, let’s dive in and boost your sense of self with these 10 steps for cultivating killer confidence:

  1. Stop believing everything you hear

The voices in your head (and the voices of people around) talk complete trash most of the time. So stop heeding them so closely. That trash is far from factual.

  1. Cuddle up with like minds

One of the best ways to gain and sustain confidence is by hanging out with already self-confident people. As author Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Pick your company wisely.

  1. Dress yourself up

It sounds simple, I know, but when you dress yourself up, you really do feel more confident. This phenomenon is called enclothed cognition. Personally, I’m a shorts and Tshirt kind of entrepreneur. But the moment I throw on a killer, well-fitting pair of jeans and a snappy, hipster long-sleeved shirt, appropriately un-tucked, I feel unstoppable.

Want to feel unstoppable, too? Dress the way you want to feel — confident!

  1. Keep learning and show up prepared  

Remember those nightmare dreams from high school and college about showing up to class on an exam day only to realize you’re entirely unprepared? Thank goodness those dreams weren’t real. But they serve as a great reminder that you can never study, learn, or prepare enough. So, stay up to date on topics relevant to your life. Whether that’s power dynamics in the workplace or effectively parenting a toddler.

The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel about handling whatever life throws at you.

  1. Try being real 

There is only one you. The you that came into this human adventure with confidence and uniqueness. Then, that was taken away when you started acting like someone you’re not to please others. Stop doing that and just be the real you. If you don’t know who the real you is … it’s high time you find out! (Hint: The answer is inside of you).

  1. Let your principles and values guide you

Have you ever thought or said, “I would never do that!” in response to someone else’s behavior?

BINGO! That’s living by your principles and values. Keep doing that and you’ll feel like the most confident person in the room, neighborhood, city, country, heck, maybe even the world.

Don’t judge or hate on people who make different choices (that’s not confidence, that’s arrogance), but you also don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right for you.

  1. Celebrate your small victories

Yes, we’d all like to immediately retire with a million or two in the bank. Achieving that amount is certainly possible, but it usually doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, you build slowly … adding to your retirement account little by little, until wah-lah — goal reached.

The same applies with building confidence. Take consistent steps every day to nurture your confidence. Celebrate all of those small victories so they prepare you for the big confidence wins down the road!

  1. It’s OK to remain a little irrational or superstitious (if it’s working for you)

Some would argue that Four Leaf Clovers and Lucky Pennies are for wishful thinkers. But if they work for you, keep working them, no matter how irrational or woo-woo others think you’re being.

Chances are, if you ask them how they keep their confidence bolstered, they have some weird little rituals of their own. Don’t laugh in their face, just smile confidently and coyly and say, “Isn’t that interesting?!”

  1. Stop procrastinating

Procrastination is one of the surest ways to kill confidence.

“No, I didn’t get that done.”  … That’s a sentence that never feels good to say.

The moment you look down on yourself over that uncompleted thing (e.g. broken promise) that’s been hanging over your head for the last week, month, or year, is the moment you shoot your confidence in the foot.

So, pick one thing on your procrastination list, complete it with confidence, and then celebrate your small win. Then, repeat.

  1. Smile with gratitude

Funny how one small act — a smile — can inspire such massive confidence, but it’s true. When you smile with gratitude it’s impossible to lack self-confidence. Go ahead, try it. Smile.

The same goes for gratitude. Think of something you’re truly grateful for and then try to feel down on your self. You can’t do it. Trust me, you can’t.

So, start each day with a smile and a gratitude phrase and you’ll kick that day off with a healthy jolt of confidence.

If you put these 10 steps into practice (yes, it will take practice), I guarantee you’ll have more confidence by next month.

In fact, you’ll probably start feeling noticeably more confident by the end of week, or even in the first few days. And when you do, then what’s possible? Practically anything!

This article originally published at YourTango.com 

5 Life Lessons I Learned From My Audio Book

I’ve spent the better part of the last week recording the audiobook of my soon to be released, first book, Frankly My Dear I’m Gay!

Yes, 16 chapters, 706 minutes, 11.87 hours of me reading my book, and that doesn’t include the total time of 83 hours to record – stop, starts, edits, retakes. Whew I’m exhausted and need a cocktail.

Ok, ok, ok. I know I’m not the first one to write a book, record their own book, etc. Yet, if you’ve not gone through this birthing process…well, it’s one hell of a lot of labor pains…good, bad, and ugly.

I thought I had it all good to go, ready to watch my book get launched, and then, I started recording the audio version, and boy did life lessons come up to bitch slap me in the face and say, “Wake up ego man and smell the coffee lessons you need to learn!” Here’s what I discovered about myself and life.

  • Missing periods, commas, quotes, and too many spaces are just a part of life…in books and your everyday existence. Get over it and know that you can do better next time.
  • We each have a reading voice and a speaking voice. They are similar but different. Be consistent with your voice and you’ll discover how much more aligned you are with your values and beliefs in your book and life.
  • Grammer faux pauxs (yes I purposefully misspelled grammar to make this point) are annoying, but if they are the show stoppers in your life or in the readers life, then “Go get a life!”
  • It’s all in the details, but the missing details often show you another way of getting to the really juicy stuff or seeing what you’re really meant to see. Thus the reason, “The Devil is in the details!”
  • Even if your book is not quite grammatically correct, has typos, is missing the occasional exclamation point, or needs some slight typesetting corrections, you still put out what you were meant to put out to have your message heard in the world. Anyone who gets hung up on all that other stuff, isn’t meant to hear your message, so don’t sweat it – again with books or by just being you in your message.

So, as you can see, giving birth, writing a book, editing it, recording the audio version, and seeing it hit the streets is a lot like being human and doing what you’re meant to be doing in this life, with all the grammar errors, missing periods, and the occasion, “Take twos!”

Now get out there and have fun birthing and living the book that is you and your life!

Why THIS Is The Real Secret To A Life Filled With Happiness


Joy will never be yours until you understand this … AND act on it.

On the wall of my office hangs a tapestry with the following words from Jack Kornfield:

In the end what matters most is:How well did you live?How well did you love?How well did you learn to let go?

If I were to add to that list, I would ask this ONE additional question — How well did you let your true self shine for all to see?

If you say, “fully” … you’re lying. (And you can go sit in the corner!)

Yes, perhaps some of you shine brightly (full of “happiness“), but it’s simply because you “don’t care” about those trying to pollute your brilliance. If so, move onto the next article that strikes your fancy because your highly evolved self isn’t going to get anything out of this that you haven’t already heard. But for the rest of us humans, the truth is:

  • Rejection sucks!(But acceptance rocks.)
  • Often, people won’t get you, and that hurts.
  • It’s difficult being unique, so much harder than fitting in.
  • People think you’re weird — and who likes being weird?
  • Stepping out and shining might look cocky instead of confident.

If you can relate, perk those ears up because today’s challenge is to dive in — dive deep into that little sliver of yourself that’s completely filled with hidden treasures of uniqueness, which will be the game changers of your life.

How many times a day do you hear someone say, or find yourself saying, “I’m just getting by.” Or, even better yet, count how many times you hear the word “someday.”

We’re either getting by, or someday-ing, in hopes that we’ll suddenly have something of value to contribute to the world that will then lead us (easily, safely, and without discomfort or inconveninece of any kind) to peace, happiness, and stress-free living.

Hate to say it, but if you keep looking ahead that way, you’ll soon find yourself looking back saying, “Oh no, it’s too late. Why didn’t I…?” (You can fill in those little dot, dot, dots with whatever get’s you all riled up and regretful.)

But, there is a cure for getting-by and someday-ing being uniquely you without regret!

I know, that’s a long phrase to swallow. Would you like me to give you the pharmaceutical assigned name for it?  Here it is — “retunihoutyouquelywigreetts.” Or, would you prefer the layman’s brand name? I thought so. It’s called “Just Be You!”

*Gasps* How dare I suggest something so honest, vulnerable, and challenging. Yes, how dare I!

Because if you don’t venture toward truly being you, you’ll never discover your full potential and self-worth. I’m saying it’s time to rise up against the Comfy Couch Dwellers of Sameness and showcase your own unique gift to the world.

How do you attempt something that scary? How do you find happiness without the approval of others? By joining the rest of us (and there are more of us than you think, my friend) who are daring to be real and truly ourselves by following these five steps …

  • Stand tall, step out of your closets of numbness and come alive.
  • Break out of the pattern of “Yes Ma’am, Yes Sir, Yes Ma’am , Yes Sir,” and instead ask “Why?”
  • Stop hiding the toys of your brilliance for fear that some bully will take them from you.
  • Begin sharing your secrets and special talents that, up until now, were only share with our besties.
  • Be the change you want to see in this world and share your hidden talents without regard for what others may think.

Honestly, daring to celebrate your truest self is a journey in itself.

It’s an act of love that only you can give yourself when you share your talents, showcase your gems of uniqueness, and stand resolutely in the truth of THIS IS ME.

It’s time to stop keeping the true you hidden away behind a false facade of what people think you are. Instead, log in using the user name and password that only you know, to unlock the “About page” that has never before been seen by the human eye.

Move the fear of judgment, rejection, and an unfavorable ruling into the trash on the hard drive of your life and come alive being yourself — the you that existed before you reformatted what you were worth into a sound bite of others expectations.

This article originally published at YourTango.com 

Believe Me…Self-Doubt Is All BS!

050113_AnxiousI don’t believe in self-doubt.

Wait, that’s not true. I used to believe in self-doubt.
Then I went to a conference where they had some Kool-aid that I drank, and it washed all the self-doubt away.

Yep, it was that simple! Well not quite.

First, I didn’t go to some walk on hot coals, hold a rattlesnake in your hands, eat live mice, and stare into a crystal ball type experience, to rid myself of self-doubt. I found a much easier, yet more challenging way to kick the self-doubting to the curb on trash day.

I quit buying into others doubts about me and what I was and wasn’t capable of or supposed to be doing.

I closed the checkbook, credit cards, and second guessing accounts so that I could clearly see my own confidence was masked by the doubts of others I’d been buying into for years.

That’s it!

Of course every so often, others doubts try to take me for a ride, but now I just say, “Sorry I’m catching an Uber ride to self-confidence instead!”

Bye-bye self-doubts, hello beautiful self-confidence.

Hide and Seek…Shall we play or not?

Big_ThreatHide and Seek was one of my favorite games as a kid. Mostly because it was the one game I was damn good at.

Ironically, I’m still good at it, but in different ways, and I suspect some of you are good at it for similar reasons.

I’m good at…

  • Hiding what I’d really like to say for fear of being rejected
  • Hiding how I feel out of fear that the truth may be more than someone else can handle
  • Hiding feelings about what I truly desire in my life because someone else will think those feelings are silly
  • Hiding when i’m frustrated and hurt, and pretending that nothing is bothering me
  • Hiding my happiness because I don’t want others to think it’s all about me

When in reality, what I seek is…

  • To be heard, understood, and embraced
  • To be honest and truthful in a way that shows I really do care about others, even if it may be hard for them to handle
  • To be able to share my desires and not be ridiculed
  • To be vulnerable without fear
  • To share my happiness without feeling shame

So I’m wondering, are you still playing hide and seek?

If so, let’s both commit to stop hiding one thing this week and share one thing we seek to have more of in our lives.

If you’re afraid to fail then you’re afraid to succeed.

Success_FailureIt’s been a crazy busy week. I’ve been recording Coming Out Lounge Podcasts like a mad podcaster, writing articles, working on the launch of a new project, and in the midst of it all, I failed.

  • I failed to remember an appointment my daughter had
  • I failed to show my husband some extra love
  • I failed to get my cardio workout in one day
  • I failed to stick to my meal plan for a day
  • I failed to be grateful, numerous times

But dammit, I’m so glad I failed. In fact, I didn’t realize how glad I was I failed until in the middle of interviewing mega marketer and thought leader, Chris Brogan, that I was reminded that not being afraid to fail will lead you to outcomes you never thought possible. Let me say that again.

When stop being afraid to fail you’ll experience
outcomes you never thought possible!

That may be a really hard pill for us to swallow, but it’s actually very sound advice.

  • Fear of failure is absurdly striving for perfection.
  • Fear of failure is believing we have to live to please others.
  • Fear of failure is living by standards that may be detrimental to our well being.
  • Fear of failure is a way of inviting the “not good enough” voices to rule.
  • Fear of failure is not allowing for other potential outcomes to flourish.

Instead, how about embracing failure.

When you embrace failure…

  • You learn from it and grow
  • You find the more powerful answers to the question “What’s next?”
  • You discover how to be grateful for your other successes
  • You absorb pain with less stress each time you fail
  • You bounce back with renewed intentions

As I look at what I say I failed at this week, what I realize is that…I got to spend more time with my daughter, my husband still loves me even when I don’t give of my time, I’m more inspired to go extra time in my cardio workout to make up for what I missed, my meal plan doesn’t control me, I control it; and the next entry in my gratitude journal is going to read “I’m grateful that I failed!”