Coming Out…Now Where Do I Find My Community?

It’s scary to come out. It’s even scarier to try to find the people you most feel comfortable with on the other side of the closet doors. So how do you do this? How do you find your community and stay true to yourself without feeling all alone once you’ve taken the step to the other side of the closet?

Infidelity…Are Gays The Poster Children For This Epidemic? NOT!

One of the things that happens most often once the label gets assigned that you’re “GAY,” is the assumption that you’re just a big slut. Ain’t true, ain’t true, ain’t true. Not all gay people, especially gay men lounge around with their crotches hard and their legs up in the air. However, this is the assumption that get’s made about gay men, inside and outside of our community.

Me and a few of my friends got together to talk about the Infidelity Factor in the gay community! Would love to hear what you have to say!

Invest & Profit In Yourself First

ProfitFirstA couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to be in the audience at Creative Live as my friend Mike Michalowicz presented his workshop Manage Your Money For Maximum Profits.I learned a lot from my quick witted, camera crazy friend about being an entrepreneur and taking good care of my business. He introduced us to his new book, Profit First: A Simple System to Transform Any Business from a Cash-Eating Monster to a Money-Making Machine.

What I didn’t expect was to find an interesting twist on Profit First to share with each of you. Go ahead. Don’t be afraid to watch the video. I don’t bite and you just might learn something valuable. In fact, I know you’ll learn something valuable.

I’d Do Something Different If I Only Knew What To Do!

the-step-that-changes-everythingEver said those words to yourself? Knew you wanted to do something  new, experience a different way of being in your life, but just felt stuck in the quick sand of indecision? Hey, I hear ya and it isn’t fun, but it isn’t the end of your world either.

Ironically, my friend Scott Dinsmore, founder of Live Your Legend, just wrote a killer blog post about finding your life’s work entitled A 5-minute Hack For Finding Your Life’s Work!”

What got me so excited about Scott’s blog post were the 3 questions he posed to get you thinking deeper about what you want from your life’s work.

1. What do you think are my biggest passions and why? If you can think of at least two or three, that would be great. Please explain.

2. What do you think are my biggest natural strengths and talents? Please explain.

3. Given the above and what you know about me, what have you always thought I’d be great at doing as a career? Or maybe as a volunteer or hobby? Please explain.

Now I don’t want to give anymore away, because I want you to go check out the entire blog post yourself. But I also want to throw down a challenge. I want you to see how you can morph these questions into other areas of life. For instance, if you’re on the relationship hunt, maybe your questions would look something like this.

1. What do you think are my biggest assets I bring to a mate? If you can think of at least two or three, that would be great. Please explain.

2. What do you think are my biggest natural strengths and talents that would make me a good catch? Please explain.

3. Given the above and what you know about me, what have you always thought I’d could do better in my dating world to attract Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Sure, Scott wrote those questions to help you start the career/passionate work exploration, but with a little bit of a tweak, these questions can be adapted to just about any situation.

Thanks Scott for the great article!

You’re never to old to “Come Out!”


There’s no magical age of self-discovery. After all, did your parents, and their parents, and their parents have a handbook that says, “Johnny’s going to discover his penis and the pleasure of an orgasm when he’s 13 years, 232 days, 14 hours, and 15 seconds old?” I think not. Coming of age and into ourselves can’t be found in any off the shelf handbook about growing up.

Sure there are plenty of tips and tricks for leaving the toddler years, elementary school days, and adolescent, hormone raging “God I’m so secure as a teen,” behind. Truth is, they are just tips and observations. How we go through life, facing the twists and turns, is all individual.

Coming out is no different. Whether you’re 10, 12, 35, 39, 43, 55, 60, 72, coming out happens at exactly at the same time for everyone of us…when we’re ready. So what is and isn’t there to fear about coming out later in life? Click here to find out and then watch this Huffpost Live Segment to get some additional insights!

Turning 51! It’s all relative!


Yesterday I became a member of the 50+ crowd. My elementary, tween, teen, 20’s, 30 something’s, and 40’s are fading into the shadows of days gone by. No regrets, just fond memories.

Now, if you’d asked me a year ago how I felt about turning 50, I would have growled, “Bring that up again and I’ll take all 50 of those lit birthday candles and shove them up every available orifice you have!” Yeah, 50 wasn’t a pretty milestone for me!

In all honesty and transparency, I was a little nervous about how I would feel turning 50+ given last year’s experience. Then something shifted. You can capture the whole story over on YourTango – Click Here!

Stop Lying To Yourself About Lack Of Success.


You want it. Success, however you define it. Then, those crazy making voices show up and tell you…

  • You’re stupid
  • You’re not talented
  • You’re unable to play the game
  • You’re living a pipe dream
  • You’re going to lose good friends if you become successful

Really? How close are we here? No matter how much you DESIRE success, you’ve got to get out of your own way, and give yourself permission to go be as damn successful as you want.

It can become a really screwed up mess if we don’t stay true to who we are and our inner desires. No shame is required. No guilt to lay all over ourselves. No reason to not believe.

Success is simply…

How you define it…

What it does for you…

Who it makes you become…

Why it makes you feel good…

Where it will take you…

When you will allow yourself to go for it…

Are you ready? Ready to go beyond a shadow of a doubt and step into your success with no apologies. If so, then go for it, and go for it hard!

How safe are you from your own jealousy?


Admit it. We all want our cake and to it too. Just us, no one else. Ok, maybe not all of us, all the time, but as gay men, there seems to be this tendency to get a little jealous if we can’t have the hottest guy, the coolest clothes, or be the bell of the ball…even if you’re not the atypical gay guy.

Here’s a little secret I learned about my own jealous tendencies as a gay man, and I’m thinking it just might help you too.

Jealousy comes from feeling out of control!

That’s it! No more, no less. Think about it. If you can’t get the hottest guy to pay attention to you, you’re unable to control the situation and suddenly you feel jealous when another guy catches his eye. Or, you walk into a social event, dressed to the nines, only to find that everyone else is dressed to the tens. You have no way of controlling how they got the better looking outfits instead of you, so your little playmate Jealousy crops up.

Make sense?

Even if you’re not prone to being jealous, the next time your annoying little jealousy visitor makes an appearance, ask yourself, “What about this situation is making me feel out of control?” Once you have that answer, you can tell jealousy to take a hike and accept, you can’t control what you can’t control, except your own jealous nature.

Never Forget Who Brings You To The Dance!


Movement, a beat, and a shimmy. It’s all about your style when you’re dancing – good or bad – it’s still your style. Yet, where did that style come from? How did you learn to be so on beat, or off beat as a gay man? And does this style even have anything to do with being a gay man? I think it does, provided you don’t forget who brought you to the dance of being a gay man.

I’m not talking about who coerced you, outed you, or took you gently by the hand out of the hidden dance floor of your closet life to the truth of who you are now. Instead, I want you to focus on you. The guy who actually said, “I can do this. I’m coming out!” Yep, he’s the one, who made you finally take the bold leap of faith to be exactly who you were meant to be.

Now look at you. Hung up in not being able to make a relationship last. Fearful that you’ll always be in a dead-end job. Unsure if you’ll have enough money to get through retirement. All valid concerns. Yet, are they something to cause ourselves to lock up in fear? Not if you remember to invite your bold beautiful self to the dance once again, just like you did when you came out of the closet.

Whether you Tango, Salsa, Krump, or Jitterbug your way to the dance of life, bring your whole self to the dance of challenges and fears, just like you did once before, and let those smooth moves work for you once again. After all, it only takes you to change view on the drudgery of life and turn it into your own signature dance move!

Man Up Minute: Gay Man’s Guide To Preparing For A Career Change!

Dead end job. Bored to the hilt. Can’t stand your boss or the people you work with? Making a career change as a gay man doesn’t have to be a chore! Seriously! It doesn’t!

Hey! I’m Rick Clemons and I’m known as The Gay Man’s Life Coach, and these are “Man Up Minute” quick videos for gay men to live their life in the grandest, most fabulous way possible!
Rick Clemons
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