Divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but it doesn’t mean if you can’t hack it, that you need to become a deadbeat Dad. Yet, society sure likes to assume that a lot of Dads are deadbeat Dads, but that’s not necessarily always the case. In fact, most Dads going through divorce would like to be as involved with their kids as possible. Steve Bates is one of those guys and he and I talk candidly about divorce, losing jobs, and making it through the times that we thought we would be able to during our divorces and trying to raise our kids – without being deadbeat Dads.
Lao Tzu, a Chinese philosopher born over 2,600 years ago wrote, “When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be.” I love this and I attempt to use it every day, but it is really, really difficult to not live in the past and let it fill your head with doubts and what if’s. Even so, it’s how we choose to utilize those prior life experiences which help us realize what our dreams and desires are.
Experiences give us motivation to move forward instead of back. And the more we have been challenged by our past, the more rewarding whatever it is the future holds in store. I’ve been a single parent, but my kids are now 19 & 17 and I am married to an incredible, amazing woman who I am so thankful for every day. I’ve broken my back and was concerned if I’d be able to walk or run again, but I still become a firefighter and a paramedic, I was an unemployed college dropout at the age of 38, but I’ve since graduated at the top of my class and am privileged to be intimately involved with a company that is a game changer on a global scale.
The memory of the low points of my life are what keep me rising above them. Do I stall or fall back from time to time? Absolutely. It’s called being human. The key for me is realizing that those “bad times” don’t define me. In fact they give me strength which may not have come about otherwise. And because I refuse to be a prisoner to what has been, I’m always willing to try new things which helps to keep life from getting stale (like starting a blog and hanging out all my laundry for the world to see). And if you’ll have me as your guide I’d be very excited to go through this journey with you!
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