Taking Care Of You Isn’t Selfish. That’s Everyone Else’s BullSh*t!

I never knew what it meant to take care of myself first. It was selfish. I know many of you have been taught the same interesting lie. But it’s not true, unless you make it a selfish act. Ironically, taking care of yourself first is a bold move of living life on your terms so that you can mirror to others to live life on their terms. It’s a gift. A gift that truly brings balance to the planet, when used correctly. It’s an inspiration, not a condemnation, or a guilt trip inflicted by others.

Self-care is rooted deep in our DNA, until we begin to buy into the misguided, yet loving wisdom of others. Because you see, they know no better either. These detours of living fully for others has been passed down from generation to generation. Now don’t get me wrong, doing and being of service to others is a core value of mine, as it is for many of you. The juxtaposition is not forgetting the one person who needs just as much attention as everyone else, which is you.

It took me 36 years to wake up to this kick ass concept. I’d been bluffing myself, wearing myself out, living a greater part of my life for others. But then I came out. Literally came out of the closet and made a bold move to live life on my terms. It wasn’t easy, and yes there was some pain, but damn did it feel good to be me, taking care of myself so I could be be better for my daughters, my family, and those around me. It was a daily IV drip of love and care that aligned me with my values, my beliefs, my true who, and got me high fiving my soul.

That’s when I started living by this manifesto.

  1. Ignoring my passions is a form of self-abuse that no longer serves me
  2. I empower my boldness by thriving in the land of my possibilities
  3. I don’t need anyone else’s permission to live my damn truth. I just do it.
  4. I refuse to let the con artists in my head and outside of me sabotage my power.
  5. I live my life by my f*cking expectations, not others.
  6. I live my sensual life of uncertainty and rather than a mundane life of certainty.
  7. I embrace saying “I don’t know” rather than having answers to please others.
  8. I don’t let fear of what others might think prevent me from experiencing life’s multiple orgasms.
  9. I never let an experience get wasted by wasting the experience.
  10. I create freedom by freeing myself of guilt and shame.
  11. I’m driven by my uniqueness, not by my differences
  12. I never let the imposter syndrome hold me back from getting bold shit done.

Now I live. I live on my terms with an abundance of love and self-care both for me and others. I let the truth of who I am guide me, to be the audacious me I was meant to be on this planet. I care for me, so I can care for others. As Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame says, “I take care of my animal.”

But most of all I realize that, the truth of who you are is far more powerful than the false truth of who you are pretending to be for others.

Take care of you and the rest will work itself out.

Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash

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