Gay men just can’t!
They can’t commit. Letting go of the thrill of the hunt is asking too much. And, God forbid you/they let their guard down and become vulnerable, that’s just too scary.
So who besides me is tired of hearing this type of dialogue coming from the outside world? Come on. Don’t be scared. It’s OK to admit, this kind of trash talk doesn’t do anything for your self-esteem! Then why do you listen to it, and let it get under your skin? There are three simple reasons, which may be hard to swallow, and to admit too!
- The truth makes us uncomfortable, even if it’s not 100% TRUE! If you’re button gets pushed by any of the above statements, then honey…there’s some piece of truth in them for you. Admit it, decide how you would like to address that truth, and move on. You will instantly start to feel the shift.
- It’s scary to confront our stuff, relinquish control, and trust that the change we’re making is going to be better than letting things stay as they are. The fear of an uncertain outcome is sticky, hard to remove glue that keeps us playing small. Once we break free, even just a little bit, we start to feel less stress, more optimistic, and happier…HALLELJUA!
- What someone else is saying about us, we’re probably saying twice as much and three times as often to ourselves! While people outside of us taught us what self-doubt is, we’ve created the habit of buying into it. And, man do we wear those doubts like a tight pair of jeans showing off our bulge.
Now you may be pissed at me for identifying our shit. And, I do mean “our,” because I’m not immune from this stuff either. Certified Professional Life Coach, doesn’t make me super human. Oh contraire. Yet. it does help me to find clarity in myself. Clarity then leads to doing my best work with you, Mr. Self-doubting Gay Man. Before you know it, you’re free to move about the cabin of your life, unafraid of getting that new career, asking the hot guy out you keep passing in the gym, and no longer running up the credit card debt of bullshit beliefs.
Would that be nice…no more self-imposed bullshit to drive you batty!