Episode 186: He Came Out. She Became A Beacon of Hope – Rebecca Hames

It’s not often we hear the other side of the story. You know the one from the other side of the closet – the spouses story…from the spouse who’s spouse has come out. But today, we once again share what it’s like when your dreams are shattered and your trust and belief in someone vanishes in two words…”I’m gay!”

For some spouses it’s a journey of betrayal, hatred, and inability to let go of the hurt. For others they do their best to understand, forgive, and move on. Of course it’s not all black and white, and for many spouses whose spouse has come out, they fall somewhere in the middle. Not sure how to feel but knowing that letting go and moving forward is a path, a hard path but a healing path.

Today’s guest is one of those brave spouses who found a path to healing, forgiveness, understanding, and even a new career that brings hope and empowerment to couples going moving through or staying in mixed-orientation marriages. This is her story, her calling, and her name is Rebecca Hames.

Show Highlights

  • She could feel tension and knew her husband was unsettled
  • Often sexual orientation becomes the catalyst for more…
  • This guest finally discovered her truth (and life path) in the deepest sense
  • It’s not easy, but as the straight spouse you have to choose to work past it
  • Find what works – and what will work for you specifically!

Connect with Rebecca Hames

Rebecca Hames is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Los Angeles.  She works with individuals and couples experiencing change in their lives, but is most passionate about helping straight spouses figure out their “new normal” after their spouse comes out.

Through her own personal experience, Rebecca felt called to work with straight spouses and strives to be an advocate and a resource for a population that often goes unseen and unheard.  Working side-by-side with the straight spouse she helps them navigate the difficult emotions that come along with discovery of their spouse’s sexual identity, to clear a path for the straight spouse to re-examine and redefine their marriage and themselves.


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