Let’s be honest! If you don’t have some sort of a “mess” in your life then you ain’t living. Can I get an “Amen?”
Seriously! You’d have to be living in a hermetically sealed bubble to have no mess in your life, and quite honestly, just living that way could be a real mess.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand the need to survive in bubbles. However, in reality, if that bubble prevents you from contracting a life-threatening disease, then baby I’m right behind you (don’t read more into this than necessary). But if that bubble causes you to only see life from inside the bubble out, then honey, you’re missing a whole lot of life.
I find it interesting, that we as gay men strive so hard to get out of the mess of hiding in the closet. Yet, how often do we then leave that closet, only to step into the messy closet of living by our own gay cultures expectations? Sound familiar? If so, then you’re in good company.
Provided you can take the heat while being in the kitchen, then you’ll probably do just fine and hold your own. But alas, many a cute gay boy’s ass get’s caught up in the party, be seen, go do it crowd and before you know, BAM, you’re 40 years old and going “What’s next?”
For starters, if you feel like your life’s a mess than A-D-M-I-T I-T! Hallelujah. You’ve just crossed the first chasm of getting back on track.
Step two, ask yourself, and only YOU, what you would like to change. Now, this may be painful, scary, and exciting, but so was sex the first time you had it so just go for it. Make that list, check it twice and be true to yourself cause ain’t no one else going to be!
Finally (well not really, there’s so many steps, but I’ve only got so much time to write today) take one or two baby steps towards the top one or two things you most want to change. Don’t try to tackle it all at once! You think you would have learned your lesson that first time you choked! Go slow, steady, and take little bites towards cleaning up your mess.
After all, if we didn’t have messes that needed cleaning up, what would be the point of Coaches, Therapists, and Psychologists? Just saying!