Midlife Detour

Let’s be honest! You’re feeling squeezed. Suffocated. Welcome to midlife!

Or maybe success has you riding high, but the emptiness inside only exacerbates your screwed truth that appearances are only skin deep.

Your midlife persona is fooling everyone but yourself. Wake up buttercup, it’s not even fooling them. People can see through to your truth.

The squeeze of midlife has got you producing more juice to try to keep up with your life than you’re bearing fruit to produce it.

It’s time you got real and admit, between being driven to succeed, dealing with aging parents, watching the kids leave the nest – if you have any, and wondering if this is all there is, you’re a ticking time bomb with one hand on the pin, wondering when you’re going to pull it.

From divorce to debt, soul sucking work to no idea what’s next, a majority of guys in midlife are one step away from a “screw it moment!” Mostly because, we’re supposed to have our shit together and to never let anyone see us sweat unless it’s at a pick-up game on the courts, or an insatiable romp in the sack – if we even romp in the sack anymore on a regular basis.

Sounds all doom and gloom, right? Or does it sound like your life as you sit their nodding your head, making sure that no one sees you nodding your head. Hey, it’s ok, never let them see you nod in agreement either, for fear they might ask you what you are nodding your head in agreement too. GASP, you might have to make up a story, or tell the truth…both which put you in a vulnerable spot. Yeah, that vulnerability thing, geez, let’s not go their either.

Ironically, vulnerability is where you begin to navigate your midlife without losing your marbles (old school phrase meaning going crazy). Of course, being vulnerable never really worked when you were younger because it meant you were weak, a wuss, cry baby and of course the ever popular “That’s so gay!” Lies, all lies. Vulnerable men rock the world.

From Shakespeare to Einstein, Ford to Jobs, DaVinci to Musk. All were vulnerable in their own right in order to do the thing they wanted to do, to live the life they wanted to live, and to navigate through life on their terms. Something we should learn from each of them to realize, regardless of the stage of life we are in, #justbevulnerable!

Navigate any midlife crises with ease by following these 6 shifts.

#1 – Get real about your priorities. Things change over time and so do your priorities. Don’t rely on yesterday’s focus, focus on today’s desires and make them your priority.
#2 – Cut the some-daying, what if-ing, when it’s the right timing. That’s just you feeding yourself your own bullshit. It doesn’t taste good. It’s keeping you sick. It will never get you to your goals. Take a stand and do something each day that moves you forward.
#3 – Stop relying on others. No, no, no, I don’t mean screw everyone else. I simply mean rely on you and lean into others when you need it. Trust yourself, your instincts, and your wealth of past experiences to navigate any mountain life throws you. And, do #4.
#4 – Live by your expectations, not others. If you haven’t learned the power of living up to your own standards then every midlife crisis is going to be handled based on what you believe others think you should do. Screw that. Listen to others but act on your own behalf.
#5 – Get curious. Don’t accept any midlife crisis at face value. We all learned the big 6 in school – Who? What? Why? Where? When? and How? If you aren’t asking these types of questions and you’re only answering your midlife crises questions with “Yes” or “No,” you’re not asking the right questions. Stop that black and white answering and get colorful with your questions and answers.
#6 – Ask for help! I know. God this sucks as a man to have to do this. It’s such a blow to our masculinity, our manhood, our bullshit perception of ourselves. Get over it already and swallow your pride like a fine shot of whisky or premium glass of Cabernet. If you’re pride is contributing to your midlife misery, that’s on you big guy!
While none of these things will magically pay down he debt, prevent that split from your mate, keep the kids on the right track after they fly the coop, or prevent you from stepping one step closer to exiting this life, everyone of those steps can change your perspective, cause you to do things differently from a place of power. After all, none of us likes being called a pussy – which is such a old, crass phrase to use in this day and age, unless you’re supporting the women’s movement, then step out of your comfort zone and don the pussy power hat.

You just might learn something about being a kick ass man when you’re surrounded by women fighting for something, they believe in.  Because the more you believe in you, who you are, and what you can do, the easier it is to navigate the bullshit of mid-life crisis and take it in stride – no fears, no excuses, no apologies!

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