Why Your Penis Gets In The Way Of Everything!


Let’s get the stereotypical phrase out of the way!

“Men Think With Their Dicks!”

Now that we have that settled, let’s talk gay man to gay man and get serious. Like it or not, our penises do get in the way of almost everything we do. Now before you cry BS on me, let’s stay calm and logic this through.

I recently did some advertising on one of those fun little apps where you can converse with other gay men to see when their going to church. Yeah right! Yes I did advertise on an app but we know what most of those are used for…making friends (wink, wink)! What I found, in the men I did sessions with who responded to the ads for Life Coaching, was a common undertone of “My penis is getting in the way of…” They didn’t actually say it, but that’s what I heard. You see, whether it’s “I need more confidence, I want a better relationship, my career sucks, I can’t keep friends, etc.,” somehow Mr. Happy between the legs always gets in the way.  Granted, I like Mr. to happy to be happy too, yet I also know that I got work to do, kids to raise, a husband to keep happy (which does involve our penises, but not always), clients to coach, and bills to pay. So Mr. Happy sometimes just needs to take a number and get in line. However, this thought, for some gay men seems like depravity and cruel and unusual behavior. Sigh, OK let’s get to the lessons.

  1. You can’t find a better job if you constantly get distracted by the porn sites you get stuck in on the internet who just happened to advertise on Monster.com. Or did you inadvertently slip into MonsterPenises.com.
  2. Gaining more confidence doesn’t arise (no pun intended) from having a larger penis and knowing how to use it (doesn’t hurt, but it isn’t the only path to confidence). Confidence comes from loving and trusting yourself to be yourself and making the best use of yourself in each and every situation you face.
  3. Keeping friends, developing relationships, and having a healthy social life doesn’t necessarily include surfing the hook-up sites while at dinner with friends. Again, even if it is a new part of town and you just gotta see who’s on Scruff in this neck of the woods, don’t let Mr. Happy get in the way of being socially adept vs. socially inept. Unless of course everyone else at the table is on Scruff to, then there’s no need for small talk, just cross table messaging!
  4. True as it is that men are men, nothing can be more distracting than sitting in a conference room and finding the new guy too adorable for words. Just remember you, any ot the other gay guys, and the women, are all doing the same thing. The one’s who will make a fool out of themselves are the ones that create an audible THUNK under the table if you get my drift. And, yes the women can THUNK too. It will just be because they’re crossing their legs to control the shivers. Bottom-line is, work is work, and play is play, keeping the two separate is still the wisdom of the ages.
  5. If you’re not careful, your penis can prevent you from getting the proper amount of exercise. (Tounge in cheek, yet being serious.) Improper use of a jock strap, too tight underwear, picking up an STD, lifting weights improperly, all can have an effect on our penis, groin, testicles, if not permanently, at least temporarily prevent you from getting exercise. For example. If I don’t wear the proper cycling clothes, apply the sweat cream between legs, and ensure I am sitting properly on the seat, then my penis will hurt, a sweat rash can ensue, and I won’t be inspired to get on the bike and ride. Take care of Mr. Happy in more ways than one and reap the benefits.

I realize this post is rather campy and snippy, but I don’t treat it lightly that we men, especially gay men, have a tendency to let our penises rule our lives. And then we stand back and wonder…why am I where I am? Kind of makes you think doesn’t it?

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